@_@

I don't know why.. I visited his blog which is probably dead. Already. Well, I saw how frequently we fought. Over small things. This is kinda stupid huh? Maybe both of us is just too sensitive, that we can't give what we need.

He said, "Maybe just showing a smile is better than expressing how you feel and make someone sad. Seeing someone sad hurts more"

Yes I agree. But if I do that, if I just faked a smile, without telling you anything. Will you understand? You'll just say I don't trust you in telling you my things. Wasn't I suppose to be MYSELF, expressing WHAT I REALLY FEEL when I'm with you? And that you can handle me at my worse? But it clearly show last time that you already can't handle me at my worse. I'm sorry. I should have decipher that meaning earlier. But I never regret.

I guess, we are meant to fall in love, but never meant to be together. Thanks for the memories. (ok fuck this. why am I repeating) and thanks for teaching me a lesson that I really deserve someone who can handle me at my worst. Thanks for letting me know that the ME that you want me to be, is perfect. But I am not. I'm sorry. No, I shouldn't apologise. I shouldn't apologise for being real. For being myself.