Strong wall shakes, but never collapse

I may cry, I may break down so much. But my walls never collapse. It shakes, but never will it break.

Okay, I really can't hold it longer, then I have to cry like some pathetic girl. ._. I'm so tired of that. tired of feeling like this. I have to stop this. This can't go any longer. I can't let them ruin my life. I can't. They have no rights to.

But what choice do I have? He was someone. Till now, he is still someone, to me. But I guess things change, and what I can do is just move on. I tried so hard. So hard.... maybe nobody can understand.. They'll just tell me to cheer up and let go. It's not that easy when someone you love so much, leaves you for another one. You just feel that you're never good enough. Your love is never enough. You broke down inside, yet put up a strong front. I thought I was okay. I thought I can do this. I was wrong. I need more time.

Damn it, Eileen Poh. Why are you like this? You are given strength, use that strength. Don't put up a strong front, be strong inside out. That's the Eileen Poh that I've been waiting.

I just want to be happy. Is it that hard?