Emotional Roller Coaster

Hello people :) Today was awesome, well, until that part where I got back to school again.

Today, for English, was pretty much sleepy. -.- I nearly fell asleep, and tons of English homework is waiting for me. 5 summary, screw it. Oh I still got SS SBQ and maths, hmm, well I don't care. But if I continue to do this, I will fail my O level -.- Sigh. But sorry, the temptation of fun is too irresistable. Okay, for poly plans, I have plans to go for DPA, but the deadline is tomorrow and I still don't know how to apply. Should I? Mr Tan said that CCA may not be what they want or what they look for during DPA. _|_ bye, hope. But well, keep hoping man!! Don't fucking give up. Eileen poh better work your ass out. -.-

Well, after school, went with Jessi and mum to PP to buy Jessi's brother's cake! Well today is desmond's birthday!! Happy Birthday Desmond!! Wish you all the best!! :D (although you call me immature, warao) Hehehe. Ok, bought share tea and nacho cheese bread from Breadtalk, freaking $1.10, Cheap cheap $_$ I went back to school to deliver Lauren's sharetea, (I'm such a kind soul). I thought we were suppose to go home, but she wants to go to the canteen. Then, when I reach the canteen, I can't believe what I saw. I saw them. Well, that really brings my happy mood down to the abyss, never to be climbing up to see the light. But ok, Lauren did cheered me up, along with Veronice and Haikel. But I don't know why. Whenever I see them together, my mood just go, "ohhh fuck this. I'm having moodswing". AGAIN. YES. AGAIN. Fucking hell. I hate this. Why must they affect me when I don't affect them at all? Why must I give a fuck when they are just enjoying themselves? Fucking hell. I promised myself not to let my ego or whatsoever take over me, but too bad, I failed. I need to try again. I can't let the two suckers bring me down forever. I'm awesome, remember? Hahaha, Lauren cheered me up using her multi-language accent mimicking. Well, her Indian's accent is (Y). Made me nearly puke my bubbletea out -.-

After they left, I began to meditate in my own pool of thoughts. I pictured them together, walking, laughing, smiling, drowning in blissfulness, holding hands, hugging, kissing (?) LOL, ermm, whatever normal couples do. Well, I pictured them in a paper/photograph. I crushed it, and throw it in the bin. I have to collate everything together, remember everything, and let it go all at once. - Karl. LOL. Hahaha but well, that works somehow. I guess I have to clear my fucking mind. It's so messy right now. Listening to other people's love stories, sad stories, I am somehow glad, somehow sad. Glad because I don't feel that sadness, that heart-broken feeling. Envy cause all my friends just found their happiness, and I am there, FOREVER ALONE. Hahahaha, joking, I got my friends and family. Thank god I have them. If not, I don't know what to do without them.

Sigh, I think I just have to complete my 5 summary and SS SBQ, if not I am dead meat. I don't know where i put my e.geog worksheet damn shit. damn shit. damn this shit I am dead. Dead foreva.

"tomorrow, I have to face them again. Don't have that feeling of anger, don't be upset. You're already being replaced. Forget his words, Forget his love. Forget their existence. Live your life. Love who loves you. That's all that matters" I have to tell myself that everyday I see them or wake up. But I know I will forget about that. But okay. Just have to keep my head up and walk with a smile. LIKE A BOSS

buaibuai